September 11

It's so hard to believe that 9 years have come and gone since that fateful day. I will never forget, as will so many many others. I had just moved away from home for the first time to finish my college education a few weeks before. I was still so young and naive about so many things in our world. I had just turned 21 a month before and of course my focus was on boys, college, and other things that college kids think of. I didn't follow the news much, I didn't pay attention to the world around me outside of my friends. I had always wondered what would be the defining moment in my generation/lifetime. There was Pearl Harbor, Vietnam, JFK, WWI and II, and it just seemed that my generation hadn't had a big event that would define us. That was until one day in September.

I was working that morning at Walmart in the Pharmacy. I had afternoon and evening classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so I worked the opening shift. There was a girl that had been in the night before to pick up her meds but couldn't because they weren't ready. She was to be on an overseas flight on that Tuesday, but came in to the pharmacy and was complaining that she wouldn't be able to take her flight because someone had crashed into the tower in NYC. Before long the TVs that Walmart had turned into the news coverage and we watched in horror as the 2nd plane hit. To say I was stunned would be an understatement. I couldn't think, couldn't focus. We had the radio on too and were listening to all the news reports that were coming in. So many things were being said, and it just seemed to get worse and worse. I had tried to call my mom at home but couldn't get through. I didn't know what to do, all I knew was that I needed to be with my family and my friends. I had called my roommate and told them what was going on, they had been still asleep and had no idea. We watched as the towers fell, I stood and listened as the plane went down in Washington, and feared as the plane went down in PA, which was not far from where I grew up (by a few hours).

Of course that night, my friends and I sat in my apt and watched the news. Watched as more things happened and waited to see what would be next. People kept talking about how our area would be attacked next since we lived near so many chemical plants and oil refineries. All I could think was that I needed to get home to my mom. So I took a few days off work and went home to hide out and wait for what I thought could have been the end. I went back to school for a few days, then came back home because my best friend had her first child on the 20th. I could not believe that something so beautiful could come into a world so horrible, but was grateful that she had been born and hoped that her world would be good to her.

Over the next few years I made the choice to try to be as informed as I could, I kept up with news and didn't want to be unaware of things that were going on around me. As a military spouse I also use that to know if my husband could be taken away from us to fight in another war or fight. I did not like the way that I felt that day. Scared of everything and everyone. Afraid of what could happen. It is really no way to live, always looking over your shoulder, wondering when the next attack will occur. I try not to think about it as much, but things like this have a larger impact on my life than before. I have always been proud of our servicemembers, they fight to keep us safe. I tear up when I see a flag or hear the National Anthem, but it's more so now that I have a duty to my husband as well as my country. I have a duty to remember what happened that day, to teach my children about that day, and to never forget the lives that were lost and the lives lost since then in response to that day. I'm grateful for my faith, for my friends and family, because without them I would not be able to understand the world we live. And without them I am nothing. I will never forget that day, because a part of my innocence died that day, a part of me that I will never be able to get back. When tragic events happen, we need to learn and grow from them, and I will always carry that day with me and learn from how I felt. I hope that we never have to face something as horrible as that again, but history seems to tell us otherwise. I hope for the sake of my son that he never has to experience it first hand, but I hope to equip him with the knowledge and faith to make it through anything.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, it is jumbled but so our my thoughts at times. Always remember, never forget the sacrifices that are made by our Service Members and their families for the pursuit of Freedom, because Freedom isn't Free.