Boston

A few years ago, right before I met hubs, I was having a hard time. Work was hard, life was hard, etc. Not being able to have a good man in my life to support me was hard on me too, and looking for love in all the wrong places was even worse. But this song seemed to help me deal with some of the things that were going on, and before long hubs found me and became like my Boston. He became the new start that I needed, and a change that has been amazing in my life ever since. I don't know if will ever realize how much he saved me back then, but I'm blessed every day since that he is mine.

"Boston"

In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun...
Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,
This world you must've crossed... she said...

You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
She said
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,

Essential yet appealed, carry all your thoughts across
An open field,
When flowers gaze at you... they're not the only ones who cry
When they see you
She said...

You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
She said
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,

She said I think I'll go to Boston...
I think I'll start a new life,
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name,
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,
I think I'll get a lover and fly him out to Spain...
Oh yeah and I think I'll go to Boston,
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind...
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice... oh yeah,

You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah...

Boston... where no one knows my name... yeah
Where no one knows my name...
Where no one knows my name...
Boston...
No one knows my name.

Forgiveness

Lately I've been trying to deal with my past. Not something that is easy for me because I have chosen to block a large bit out. But while I was doing a study at church, it brought up some issues that I really should deal with. A big thing was with forgiveness. I have been one to hold a grudge, who hasn't really. But that is not a way to live, it tears at you and leaves you broken. So in my process of trying to forgive some people in my past, I figured I also better ask for forgiveness from someone I had hurt in the past. It's not something I took lightly or easily, but I finally did it the best that I could. And as far as I can tell it was welcomed. I didn't realize that the events that had let up to that had been hiding away in my heart and just waiting till I was ready. It took a long time and I'm still trying to process it all. I'm hoping that by asking for forgiveness, maybe I'll be able to finally forgive. But how can you forgive many, many, many years of pain, suffering, abuse, etc? I guess that will be something I will learn here soon hopefully. And it's awesome that the next sermon series at church is about forgiveness. Man, God is really speaking to me right now through my presence at church, and I tell you what, it feels great. I have spent some many years suffering from depression (among other things), but by letting God back into my life I have found some happiness that I haven't had in a long time. God has been helping me through this deployment, and missing hubs and the trying times with D. And I don't think I would be doing as well if I didn't have the friends that I have, the activities that I have, the communicate that we have this deployment (which is still hard to get use to) and God to guide me through.

April is here

Well we are almost to that point again in deployment, the half way mark. It seems like it has taken way too long to almost get there. I know for some people the last few months have seemed to fly by, but not for me as much. I've done what I thought I should do, stay busy. Some times it seems like it's too busy, but at least I'm doing something. Being involved with church, NWCA, FRG, D's classes and speech and now OT,  and friends (well when I'm not doing everything else).

Thanks to a study that I've been attending on Wednesday night and with reading that I've done, I've been thinking about a lot of things that I've done in my past. I wasn't always the nicest person, or did the right things, but I think a lot of people have pasts like that. I think that as long as you can make a positive change and atone for what you did, then it can help you to have a better future. I need to let go of somethings that have happened, need to apologize for somethings, and so much more. But I think that in order for me to completely heal these are important things that I need to do. Now if I can only get my head wrapped around where to start and what to do. At least I've got some alone time when D is in bed (when I get done with my reading) to figure it out.

Hopefully in the next few days/week or so I'll have some awesome news to share. (NO, we are not pregnant. Not yet anyway. Kinda hard when the love of your life is out sailing around the world. Without you might I add. But it's for a good reason and we are very proud of him.) We are waiting to get all the final i's dotted and t's crossed. :)

But YAY it's finally April!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Hunger Games.... spoilers ahead

Well, it took awhile, but I got sucked into the Hunger Games Trilogy. Guess that would have happened at some point. It's funny because I really had no intention of reading them. I didn't know much about them, other that there was movie coming out, and that hubs had picked up the first one to take with him on deployment. But I saw a trailer (during Twilight BD, P1 of course) and it's been in the back of my mind. So thanks to wonderful friends, I got to go yesterday and D got to hang out with his Godfather, makes for a great day.

****************************SPOILERS AHEAD**************************************

All in all, it was an awesome movie. I had recently read the books, (all three in like three days) so they were fresh in my mind. I wondered how they (the filmmakers) could make them big-screen worthy. I would have like to have seen more about Katniss' father, but that's just me. I think they did a great job staying close to the story. I had hoped that we would see Katniss drug Peeta so she could go to the feast, or saw more of the lovey dovey stuff, but hey I guess it wasn't really about that. I'm not a fan of violence, sure not when kids are killing each other. I liked the books for the love story that developed, but I guess that is also from me missing the hubs (we are almost half way done with this deployment, but that's another post). I think that the casting was done well, even though there were plenty of people who had offered rude and cruel remarks about the castings of Rue, Cinna and Thrash, but if you read the books you would know (or maybe it's because I watched the trailers before reading) how those characters were protrayed. But that's just me, people will always find something to complain about or be unhappy with. I can't wait to see how the rest of the series will turn out. I think that adding the uprising in District 11 (even if it did take you back to the civil rights era) was good to show what we can expect coming in the next 3 movies. I think that it was a great movie, they even did the dresses and outfits for Katniss as well as they could. :)