Guess I'm going to have a pity me moment! This is what I wrote in my journal today:
I'm so stressed out. How am I supposed to be alone, with these two kids, for almost two years? I miss Hubs. I really kind of need him here with me. I am trying to be strong. Heck my word for this year was Strength. But I feel like it's not there and I'm failing. I guess that's the problem there too, ME ME ME. I'm not relying on God. I don't even mention Him. Why can't I make it easy? I guess because I want Hubs here to make it easy on me, to fix things, etc. I just need a hug. And some rest. But if I could just give some of this to God, then I would find rest, right? Like if I would follow Matthew 11:28, ya know, what I should carry around with me right now, but I just can't. This Fake it till you Make it just doesn't seem to be working for me right now. I want to give up the stress and the concerns, but because I feel like I need I need to control them and I just can't give them over to God. If I could just keep Jeremiah 29:11 in my mind since I do wear it on a ring on my hand, then I can remember that God does have a plan for me.
3 comments:
Always praying for you, my friend. Wish I could be with you and help you out, but God does have your back and will help you through this tough time! And of course you can always come home and hang out with us. :)
It is so hard to be away from your husband. *hugs* Do you have some people going through the same thing that you can hang out with on a regular basis? That has always seemed to help me.
I wish Julie! It's such a crazy situation. We have learned over the years that we are the exception to almost every rule and not the norm for military families. Some times a good thing, some times a bad thing. But thankfully I have an awesome Church family and friends here who are great. And awesome friends in other places too.
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